ya know, im surprised yall haven't made any jokes bout this being edgy. also yes. this is a bump

For me personally, (From all the musicals, videos, and lyrics I watched) the song needs to be a story or convey a message. From what I see this is a person who been through a lot and wants to show someone who went through the same thing that it's not the end. So what I'm trying to say is that you gotta make it rhyme. Really I just wanna know more about the full context of the song i.e the story behind it and what meta it could be played in.

well, to be honest i haven't got that far, i've just been thinking bout the lyrics, but from what i think, maybe some sortta country, not this generation, but a slow, deppresed thing, with guitar and bass guitar

This is the only song that kinda matches what you're talk about (For me at least, correct me if I'm wrong): https://youtu.be/KDOkMSf-F14

Really good lyrics Reperzell😃

thanks ren. also, BBH, maybe im still working on the lyrics, which, i still have no clue formwhat they should be

here's some main lyrics i thought were decent, think of it as some sortta rap...for now: ''ya know i ain't surprised everyone see's the world like this the media shows want it wants to show for a quick buck, to pay bills, but us normal people, the only pay is with our lives, and to pay? with a noose, but for me, i've the seen the good, i've seen beyond the greed, beyond the green, and i've seen what we all hope to see, but its a trip, lemme tell ya something, but if we could live as one for once we may all see it'' ...is it good?

Outta curiosity if the chorus comes first, you can have a slow guitar play and the speed it up in the rap for a feeling of alertness to the listener. In terms of lyrics they tell an a tale of hardship, but for words, a structure like this might work; Ive been through many wars... Ive been through many fights... ive seen the bloodshed in this world.. but if you take my hand... Steering through the madness... Cause you see... This world isn't as insane... As it would seem... Bass comes ''ya know i ain't surprised everyone see's the world like this the media shows what it wants What it shows for a quick buck, to pay the schmuck but us normal people? the only pay is with our lives , and we pay? with a noose, To live void and null but for me I've been let loose i've the seen the good, i've seen beyond the greed, beyond the green, and i've seen what we all hope to see, but its a trip, lemme tell ya something, but if we could live as one, for once we may all see it'' Something like this, but I'm no master of music, nor the instrumentals for it, I just wanted it to rhyme (also I don't know the full context, not much anyway) and you don't have to use it

oh mer gird mate, that is real good, now, the chorus comes after that again...and now...the second part...also thanks again BBH for helping me

now, i think this could work: ''would you take a life for 2, 3, or 4? would you take a life for ya friends, wife and kids? would you take a life cuz ya had a chance? or would you take a life because you can?'' i need to make more for this part, but thats i all got.

I'm liking, but how many parts are you going to have? And are they all gonna be raps? I'm interested to see where this is going

well, maybe something like this: three parts are gonna be raps, and the 4th part would be some long solo, then it just repeats the chorus 6 times, then end?

So like: Chorus Rap A Chorus Rap B Chorus Rap C Chorus Solo Chorus Chorus Chorus Chorus Chorus Chorus (I imagine it would draw out here)

yeah, like that, but maybe cut down on the chorus.

Yeah I was gonna say maybe three on the last, and the chorus can be just the first half and then on the last one it's full like Solo 1/2 Chorus 1/2 Chorus Full Chorus (for the ending) For leading it at the end Also have you finished rap b? I wanna see where it leads

i need help with that, have any ideas for rap b?

If I'm going on the lyrics we have the song in whole is about this world and the terrible things in it, but if you come with me (an person who is more experienced) can show you good things. What could be interesting is that if the chorus is the present, then the raps is the past which is why it would be faster, showing the ways it is terrible, but him being able to get through, while trying to explain it to someone. Remember this is your song so It's your call on how it's made

hm..........yeah, ya right, still thinking on what it should be, everything i think...just dosen't rhyme, or dosen't make sense, ya know?

I understand rebrozel. I love when things rhyme in the songs I listen to without repeating too many words (Gucci Gang is the worst at this) but actually rhyming sucks, I use http://m.rhymer.com to help me at least in my classes

well, not really much with rhyming, more like, words that would fit with the song, ya know?

Got anything for the rap? I've been trying, but I can't get passed two lines without it sounding off.

i mean, it don't have to rhyme, but, it must fit, show me what you got, please.

Sorry for taking so long, things happen, anyway this is what I got so far: would you take a life for 2, 3, or 4? would you take a life for ya friends, wife and kids? would you take a life cuz ya had a chance? or would you take a life because you can? (For reference) Cause I'm tired of them takin Tired of the waitin, the tryin, The people I see bleedin Running around pleadin Turin around and lookin the other way Holdin their breath For what the have to say.. NO I'm gonna show the social politics That were more than a number, statistics That's about it, again Happy brothday rebrozel You can change things as need be

alright, i can finish that last part, ''I'm gonna show the social politics That were more than a number, statistics, there malicious, politic, backstabbing, money grabbing thieves, that tell us we need it, but really we won't, now its our turn. to see if we shall take it, or let the wall street take what we sow.''

I would get rid of one of the "politic" to add variety, but beyond that I'm liking it, getting a nice rhythm to it. Anyway then the chorus would play and then Rap C. Time to work on C then.

btw mate, this song is the closest thing to how the song could be https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXTJAgWsTd4

Alright, that's a good basis to know. How's it going with Rap C?