I am at work, I shall now proceed to begin my ritual of pouring coffee down my pants.

That sounds unhealthy.

@Kitagawa
Are you still in the Cards Against Humanity business cause I got suggestions

I assure you, it is perfectly healthy. All it requires is a fairly lengthy hospital visit afterwards.

I missed the crotch burn posts.

@Mako-chan

Indeed I am, I have been lurking and adding a few cards here and there.

Make a new topic for them or something though, I desire to keep this one about the glory of scalding your genitals off with a hot and steaming pot of coffee.

Cah? I'd be down for a game or two someday

I am currently making a second pot of coffee and this one too shall be poured directly down my pants.

I shall consider recording my screams of pain for you all to enjoy.

@Kitagawa

Are you in need of medical and psychological assistance?

@Centunculus_fur

Medical? yes. Psychological? No.

Though I can get to the hospital just fine on my own, so do not worry. Let me enjoy this little hobby of mine.

Speaking of which, the second pot is currently done and I am pouring it down my pants as we speak.

You need help let me help.

Or I will have to take other methods.

@Centunculus_fur

Don't touch me the scalding coffee has fused my flesh to the chair I am currently sitting in. I can not be moved.

This is why I do it.

If I pour coffee down my pants and fuse myself onto nearby objects then nobody can move me and save me from pouring coffee down my pants.

You're a freaking genius

I see.....then I need to undo what we have started!

*time has shifted backwards*

That sounds unhealth-wait why does this feel fimilar. Ah yes time travel now to steal your most valuable item the coffee!

@Centunculus_fur

I will now proceed to microwave some milk to make it scalding and then I shall pour it down my pants, which will melt off my flesh and genitals.

The moral of the story is that one can not stop me.

@Kitagawa

I can as along as I keep going back!

*shifts time back by 1 day*

@Centunculus_fur

Please stop I want to enjoy my life.

@Kitagawa

No I can't stop now you pushed me to far! Now I shall send far back in time so you can never have the coffee again (raspy sour laughter) let's try another day or two!

*time shifts back by two days*

Why must I suffer?

has the coffee at least done anything for your cold